Monday, May 19, 2008


I'm off to Canada!! Oh Canada! My home and native land! I am so excited.

I am planning our wedding while I am there. I have SIX days in which to get all of my planning meeting, visiting, laughing, and playing in. SIX days before I have to leave it all behind again for another few months.

The very best part of planning our wedding so far has been the creation of our invitations. They have been SO much fun! We took pictures of our faces and sent them to the very talented Laini Taylor and she made the invitation for us. (And Mark was Laini's very very first Laini's Lad - giggle!) I laugh with glee EVERY single time I look at this picture. I can't stop smiling when I think about it. Thank you Laini - from the bottom of both of our hearts!!

Wedding planning is hard. It's hard because I couldn't care LESS what cutlery is on the table. (Luckily I don't have to decide that!) It's hard because I don't want to waste money on things that DON'T MATTER. It's hard because I have to finalize the guest list and no matter what we do someone will feel left out. (And funny that I imagine that MY wedding will matter that much to someone... silly silly me.) But thank goodness that I have these 'problems.' How blessed am I that I get to marry the man I love in front of people I love and that there are so many people I love that I am worried about not having enough places to put them! I have so much gratitude when I shift my perspective!

So I am off to the Great White North. I'll leave you with some good things!

1. This post - LOOK I am a LAINI's LADY!!!! I am SO honoured that she used my face as one of her beautiful ladies! She is so talented and inspiring. What a great day!
2. This blog that I have recently found. Its title was what drew me in in the first place!
3. This blog that makes me smile wide when I go there.
4. This beautiful piece of art that I am lusting after.
5. This post - just lovely!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

gifts from myself

"To begin living like you've never lived before... begin living like you've never lived before."

A million years ago (or so it seems!) I was wandering the aisles at Powell's in Portland. I was determined that I was going to keep focused long enough to take it all in. When I am in a bookstore I get an overwhelming feeling of being amongst kindred spirits quickly followed by panic because I can't look at them all or read them all or find what I am looking for fast enough. I have to focus in a bookstore. I have to seek one section and one shelf at a time or I just wander around and eventually leave with a thumping headache.

While wandering around Powells (A CITY BLOCK OF BOOKS!) I found this little magnet. Clutching my book of Mary Oliver poems and my Laini's Lady, I added this magnet to the pile and made my purchase. I was late to meet Liz and Laini and I didn't want to make them wait. I got home and put it on my filing cabinet and promptly forgot about it. I did look at it from time to time, but I never really thought about it very much.

Yesterday I was trying to rewrite a scene in my novel and I was having a lot of trouble with it. I lacked the juice and the fire that I needed for that particular part. In frustration, I glanced over towards my filing cabinet. There she was, still ripe and full and spinning. She was exactly the inspiration I needed for the scene. She was exactly the image I needed to make the scene what it needed to be. I took her off of the bulletin board and propped her up on my desk.

That sort of thing happens to me a lot. I often find that something I found or bought or scribbled down and tucked into a book is exactly and precisely what I need when I find it again. It's like I am my own little fairy godmother. I also like it because it reminds me that sometimes we can't see what it all adds up to until we look back or until we look through or until we peek inside.

What gifts from yourself have you found today? What inspirations can you leave for yourself tomorrow? Magic is all around - especially if you create it for yourself!

Monday, May 12, 2008

every day angels

"I'm Sensitive"

I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things you say
It doesn't take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.

You always tell me that is impossible
To be respected and be a girl
Why's it gotta be so complicated?
Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated?
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.

I was thinking that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we can give it to everybody who have some faith
Oh please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.

I have this theory that if we're told we're bad
Then that's the only idea we'll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
'Cause anyone can start a conflict
it's harder yet to disregard it
I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way.


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

my path...


(v. t.)
To make a path in, or on (something), or for (some one).
A way, course, or track, in which anything moves or has moved; route; passage; an established way; as, the path of a meteor, of a caravan, of a storm, of a pestilence. Also used figuratively, of a course of life or action.
A trodden way; a footway.

I walked home from work today. Now my walk home from work involves walking up and over some cliffs, crossing several fields, walking beside an old WW2 airfield and then across some more fields. It normally takes about two hours but Mark picked me up half way home so that I could get home and get some work done.

It was beautiful and I took lots of pictures (which I will share tomorrow when I can find the cable!) But the point of this post is that I realized something about myself today. I am obsessed with paths. Every roll of film or digital file I have includes at least one "path" of some sort. (Or road or bridge or walkway or sidewalk... I'm not fussy!) I'm forever taking pictures of the way ahead. I am enchanted by the possibilities that lie along the way.

When I thought about it some more I realized that it goes deeper than that. My book is even about a path. The other thing I always take pictures of are doors and doorways. It's all about what lies ahead or beyond. I wonder if I need to spend some more time paying attention to where my feet are actually planted. Maybe then the road ahead will make more sense!

I'll post more pictures of my path tomorrow. The picture above was taken when we visited the place where we are getting married! SEE - OBSESSED!! I'm even getting married on a PATH. What does it all mean!? (gently!)

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Manifest Miracles

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
- John Burroughs

This picture and the rock in the middle of it are by the amazing mccabe. The rock in question is now sitting on my desk. I have been in a state of nothing-to-say lately. I put those quotes up and then I got all of your beautiful words and instead of being inspired to write I got quiet and still. Creative cycles are a funny thing. All I have ever wanted is within my grasp if I could just reach a little farther and try a little harder, and yet I sometimes need to be still. But today I feel like I am coming up into the light again. I can feel the energy moving back into my bones. I want to drink in my days and fill them with miracles and change the world for the better in some small (or large) way.

I'm going to go and hold my magic rock close to my heart and breathe in some of that magic. Then I am going to manifest some miracles.