Saturday, February 28, 2009

playing along...

Playing along with Kerstin, who was playing along with Susannah, here are my 10 favorite words beginning with the letter b.

Books. This is an easy one for me. Apart from certain humans and my MAC, books are my most favorite thing on the planet. I hope to have a library filled with them in my house some day. If I go to visit someone at their house and they don't have any books, I get quite suspicious and wonder if we can really be friends. To me, books are friends, security blankets, teachers, and as necessary to me as food. My last $10? Definitely on a book.

Beauty. One of the guiding forces in my life is beauty. I believe in it, I look for it, and I revel in it.

Banana. I love this word for a ridiculous reason. I love this word because when I write or type it I have to concentrate every time to keep from adding too many 'na's. Silly but true.

Beatific. When I was a little girl I remember reading that a character had a beatific smile. I had to look it up. I think it was the first word that I ever looked up for myself in the dictionary. I'm glad it was such a good one!

Bewitch. I love this word in all of its forms. I love that it gives me a little tingle, as if there is magic released just by saying it or thinking it. Nothing is ordinary if the word bewitch is involved!

Betwixt. This word is usually coupled with the word between. (They mean the same thing.) The place 'betwixt and between' is always where magic happens. Hmmm... I am sensing a trend here in my words. I think I like magic!

Bliss. This is an obvious one. I think that nearly everyone who ever wanted more in their lives began with the Campbell quote about following your bliss. We are forever chasing this word, hoping to find our bliss, whatever that means.

Brave. I love this word because of what it makes me feel. I love it because of the hope and the fire it holds. I am going to try to embrace more bravery in my life in the next few months.

Baby. I like it when my husband calls me this (who knew!) I like it in Dirty Dancing when Johnny says, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." I like hearing when babies are born into this world. I like that it sounds like a sigh.

Butterfly. For a long time I curled my nose up when I heard about the symbolism of butterflies. It always seemed too easy or too obvious. I preferred to work a bit harder on my messages and metaphors. But lately butterflies have been forcing their way into my consciousness, and I have let them slip through. I am glad I did.

Want to play? You could ask Susannah or Kerstin for a letter, or you could ask me, or you can just open a book and put your finger down on a letter. If you do or if you have, I would love to read yours when you post your list - do let me know!!

Other b words I like: bamboozle, bashful, bath, befuddled, blossom, bouffant, brazen, bumph, buoyant, bustle...

Friday, February 27, 2009

A new cycle.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar"
- Mary Byrant

For the past few weeks I have been in an enormous FUNK of epic proportions. I have had a flu/ cold of the sort that make you lie in bed and ponder the meaning of life, and have allowed that to suck me down into the bowels of mood-land. I have been all of the way through the gamut of "I have had enough" through "I just don't care anymore" and right out to the end of "oh woe is me." Ugh. But when I finally got tired of feeling sorry for myself, all of that quiet time made for some good thinking!

I have often read about people's 'A-ha' moments and wished for one. Looking back on the past month I realize now that this whole month has been a steady trickle of inspiration. It's like I have been on an A-ha drip. I couldn't deal with it all at once, so I had to have it in small doses. The sticky, messy metamorphosis that has been my month of February has culminated in a shift. Every single book I have picked up, every television show I have watched, and every bit of inspiration pointed at me have all seemed to send the same message:

We must discover our own truth.

It sounds so simple, but for the first time I think I actually get it. I know I have been yapping on about my new project for ages now, but I am telling you to expect it very soon! I think I just needed this month to be really ready for all that it entails.

"If your knowledge of fire has been turned to certainty by words alone, then seek to be cooked by the fire itself. Don't abide in borrowed certainty. There is no real certainty until you burn; if you wish for this, sit down in the fire." - Rumi


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Friday, February 20, 2009

Asking for help.

"Just get up and do your thing and speak your truth. It's as simple as that."
- Lamar Harrington

This week at The Next Chapter book group, the chapter is "Consulting with Guides." When I started blogging it was because I was desperate for connection with like-minded women. I put the intention out there and more importantly, I did something about it. Within a week I had connected with three amazing women. We connected because we were all brave enough to reach out to each other. Within a year of being brave, I had made several wonderful friends, traveled to a creative retreat, and begun writing a book.

But as Gail McMeekin says, "The real story is often much more helpful than a myth." I need to tell you that it hasn't all been perfect. I've been snubbed and ignored, I have lost connections and I have been the ignorer. Reaching out and being creative is HARD, but every time you do it, you get a little stronger and you meet someone new. Today instead of writing about being brave and making connection, I am going to do it, because you just never know where it would lead!

I've always felt that we get messages from the Universe. Well while I was sick I got them loud and clear. The Next Chapter's "Consulting with Guides," my note from the Universe telling me: "It's not what you know, it's who you know... and love," getting a brave invitation to a delightful gathering, and a long talk about publication with two different people are all pretty clear road markers. The consensus? Ask for help. It's all about who you know. Be brave.

So here it is:

I have written a book. I am now seriously looking for an agent for it, and I am having big problems. Can anyone out there give me any advice or a contact name or any information at all to help me in this quest? The book is a novel about a woman finding herself. I have had several people read it and the comments have been wonderful. Most told me they couldn't put it down, several said that they knew of many women that they wanted to read it, and one reader told me that it has completely changed her life. Now I can't tell a prospective agent this as it looks unprofessional, but as this is MY blog, I can do what I like! So I am shamelessly asking: Can anyone out there help me get my book into the right hands to give it the best possible chance in the world?

Because that is what I really need right now!

Sunday, February 08, 2009


"For too many women, doubting the legitimacy of their inspirations chokes their creative spirit." - Gail McMeekin

This is the first letter of a word that I commissioned from Jessie.  I am delighted to say that I have the word 'YES' coming in the mail!  

As I read through the chapter for this week's book group, I was struck by the number of excuses and reasons that women find to not create.  

I know I am an incredibly lucky girl in many ways.  Supportive parents, BIG life lessons about the preciousness of life, early creative surroundings, an artistic husband and no kids of my own have all conspired together to make me quite comfortable spending time writing.  In fact, in our house we often ignore things like laundry and cleaning in favour of a few more minutes making our dreams happen.

Having said that, I couldn't figure out why the chapter made me so uncomfortable until I read the quote I shared at the top of this page.  I'll add it again here in case you missed it:  "For too many women, doubting the legitimacy of their inspirations chokes their creative spirit." - Gail McMeekin.  As I said, I have no trouble spending time writing, but whenever I pick up a paintbrush I feel like I should be doing other things.  I should be writing - that is where my skills are - that is where I might have a shot at creating something worthwhile.


Last year I had a brainwave for a wonderful website.  I am in love with this idea.  I bought the web address, I have been scribbling about it ever since, but I haven't gotten past tinkering with page one.  Why?  Because it requires me to make art and because it is NOT a way of making money.  The lesson? Creativity that creates even the remotest possibility of income = valid.  Creativity that is just creating beauty in the world for the sake of it = something to cram in after all of the other to-dos have been taken care of.  

On Friday I had a little meltdown.  I was at work and was listening to something on my ipod that make me cry.  Luckily I was alone, because it was one of those messy talking to the universe, God, and anyone else who might be listening cries.  I wanted to know what to do to make a situation I am in better.  When I was all cried out (and the universe could get a word in edgewise) I started thinking about that idea again, complete with a new and enticing angle.  In fact, whenever I am feeling sorry for myself, this idea pops into my head again.  I keep pushing it down, thinking that I'll do it when my other shoulds are done.  I think that this time I will listen.  In fact, I am going to make it a priority.

Seeing the act of creating as a legitimate use of our time makes us make time.  It becomes a priority no matter how much washing needs doing or how much other people need us.  The only thing stopping us from focusing on our Self is our own perception of the validity of what we are doing.  We need to place value on the things that we love to do, and then we will not feel guilty doing them.  The world needs our creative energy, it doesn't need more guilt!

"In order to succeed, you must create a space, commit the time, value it, and fight for it.  And yes, give some things up." - Gail McMeekin

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

finding my wings.

"Metamorphosis isn't always pretty but it is always awesome and absolutely essential." - Oprah Winfrey

I just need to say that I am seeing butterflies!

I wrote here about the butterflies that appeared in my life earlier this year, but ever since I wrote that post, I have been noticing something different. For the past few months blue butterflies have been appearing in my life. I need to be clear and tell you that as I am in England in the winter, the butterflies have not been real. Instead they have appeared in other guises. I have seen them winking at me from book and magazine covers, on people's clothing, in advertising, etc., etc. It has happened enough that I have begun to get a little heart flutter every time I see one now, because I believe there is more to it than just coincidence.

I have had a funny thing for blue wings for a while now. I even put a pair into the book that I have just written. So to suddenly begin seeing them everywhere has been quite intriguing. I have been looking in all of my signs and symbols books to try to discover what it all means. All of them say the same thing: butterfly = transformation. But what does a blue butterfly mean? Hopefully it's MY transformation. I choose to see them as little winks from the universe to say that everything is going to be okay. My book (complete with blue wings) will be published, Mark's website will launch, and life with be transformed.

Maybe the caterpillar has finally metamorphosed! (Is that even a word?) (Giggle.)

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Short and Sweet

About your goal: "If you carry on as you are, will you achieve it?”
- Paul McKenna

Artwork and Photograph by Jessie M. of Patch of Sky and Stray Dog Arts

Okay, so I blatantly lied to you about coming back and telling you all about Grenada. I may still do a post about it, but the last few days have past in a post-vacation brain freeze and I just can't summon the nowse to do anything. Even today, after going through some of the 457 entries in my Bloglines account, I find I cannot do it. I'm still hibernating. Tomorrow I go back to work. Tomorrow I get back to reality. Today I am staying in my cocoon!

So instead of anything of ME, here are some of the things I have found lately that make me happy!

1. This blogger. She is new to me, but I am finding her blog pure delight!

2. This same blogger's Women's Circle starting in March. It looks like just what the Dr. ordered!

3. This book by Martha Beck. I was loaned it on holiday after I'd finished the FIVE novels I had with me. Within 39 pages I had one of those put-down-the-book-and look-around-with-amazement moments that you sometimes get when you realize something new about yourself.

4. Susannah's new e-course: Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self looks amazing! She is an incredible photographer (it is her skill that made me look as good as I do in the photograph in my header!!) She is insightful and charming and will bring out the best in anyone who wants to take up her challenge!

5. Jessie's word of the day posts and her beautiful artwork. Jessie is walking, talking, typing, painting inspiration!

6. This great blog. I don't know whose it is, but imagine my surprise one day to go there and find a quote by ME!

7. SQUAM. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be there. Do you hear me Universe? Please help me get to Squam this year. (After you help me get published, maybe I could have a book launch there. Is that asking too much? Chuckle.) So many dear souls are going to be there. I am a camp junkie - did it all of my life - and this would be like the best parts of camp PLUS filled with creativity and talent and women I am already friends with who I haven't met in person!! OH. SQUAM. PLEASE?!?!?

8. This is VERY cool. I want one of these couches and one of these chairs so much my mouth waters just thinking about them!!

Have a wonderful Sunday!