"Love relaxes and releases all unlike itself." - Louise Hay (This is the affirmation to use for bursitis.)
I have always maintained that I know what my issues are. I know that I am a procrastinator, I know that I am messy and selectively lazy. I know I comfort eat and I know I am really sensitive and easily hurt. (There are more but you get the idea!) I have often thought, "Well, if I already know what the problem is, why don't I do something about it? What's wrong with me? Am I just lazy?"
Well I had a mind-changing experience yesterday. I was standing in our kitchen talking to Mark and his mom. Over the course of the conversation I brought out "Heal Your Body" by Louise Hay and we were talking about symptoms and what they mean. I jokingly said that it couldn't always be right because according to Louise, the bursitis pain in my shoulder means: "Repressed anger. Wanting to hit someone." I protested that I didn't want to hit anyone. Mark said, "Oh I don't know, I can think of someone!"
As I protested that I didn't want to hit anyone, both he and his mom said that in fact, I often use the word 'punch' in relation to people who are bothering me. I have absolutely no memory of ever using that phrase. But as I denied it all I realized that I was protesting too much. I want desperately to be a ''nice' person, but when I stopped and looked and listened to what they were saying, I realized that I do have a lot of aggression inside. I am angry at some people and some situations. In fact, I think I am downright furious.
Mark laughingly stuck a pillow in his shirt and told me to punch him. I couldn't do it. I really couldn't. I was a pathetic puncher. The longer we tried, the better I got, but I think that I have a huge huge block there that I need to get past. We are going to try again today.
I never thought that this journey into my body would bring something up so fiercely and so quickly. Maybe it has nothing to do with my shoulder being so sore, but just maybe it does. I asked my body to talk to me. Maybe my shoulder just didn't want to wait for me to get up there. And just maybe the reason that I am not fixing the parts of me that I know are wrong is because there are blocks I don't know about in the way. Maybe I am not just lazy!!
But it cracks me up that I have to punch my fiance to find out!!
(P.S. Talk about reclaiming yourself - check out this post by Michelle - what a POEM, what an amazing statement. RRRrrrOooooAAaaaaaaRrrrrrr!!!!!)