Friday, February 27, 2009

A new cycle.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar"
- Mary Byrant

For the past few weeks I have been in an enormous FUNK of epic proportions. I have had a flu/ cold of the sort that make you lie in bed and ponder the meaning of life, and have allowed that to suck me down into the bowels of mood-land. I have been all of the way through the gamut of "I have had enough" through "I just don't care anymore" and right out to the end of "oh woe is me." Ugh. But when I finally got tired of feeling sorry for myself, all of that quiet time made for some good thinking!

I have often read about people's 'A-ha' moments and wished for one. Looking back on the past month I realize now that this whole month has been a steady trickle of inspiration. It's like I have been on an A-ha drip. I couldn't deal with it all at once, so I had to have it in small doses. The sticky, messy metamorphosis that has been my month of February has culminated in a shift. Every single book I have picked up, every television show I have watched, and every bit of inspiration pointed at me have all seemed to send the same message:

We must discover our own truth.

It sounds so simple, but for the first time I think I actually get it. I know I have been yapping on about my new project for ages now, but I am telling you to expect it very soon! I think I just needed this month to be really ready for all that it entails.

"If your knowledge of fire has been turned to certainty by words alone, then seek to be cooked by the fire itself. Don't abide in borrowed certainty. There is no real certainty until you burn; if you wish for this, sit down in the fire." - Rumi



Shannon said...

Yes! Yes! Those slow trickles of a-ha moments are sometimes the hardest to endure - but also the most lasting.

Thank you, thank you for saying "We must discover our own truth". People sometimes ask me how I got to be in this point in my life (as a Reiki master, or an artist, etc.) and while I could tell them the books I read or the experiences I had, it wouldn't really answer their question. They want to know how THEY can become more and the only way to do that is on your own and through your own hard work. And the support of others when it comes to finding your own path.

Although I don't comment much on your blog, I read it all the time and am sending you lots of good thoughts - kindness, peace, and finding the perfect agent for your book! :)

Vivienne said...

i love the way you describe the 'a-ha drip'! that sometimes it doesn't come in a 'big bang' kind of way. i feel that too. and i'm so glad that you're finding your own way in discovering your truth.

{i'm also incredibly excited to find out what the news you have to share is}!

Genie Sea said...

YES! Sometimes we need to cocoon deep down into the safe bowels of a funk, and let it fertilize our ideas. I can see you sprouting and growing. YAY!

Colleen said...

I miss you lady!!! I'm sending you a great big warm fuzzy hug. Next time you're in that yucky place call me! I'm home a lot and often wishing for a friend to talk to! xoxoxoxo My little Lainey mostly wants to talk about princess' and her new glitter glue... it's very exciting and all but grown up talk is fun too!

Have a great weekend!

Marianne said...

Yup - in the end we all have to sit in our own fire, right?

Sending all my best to you at this exciting time!

susanna said...

I've been experiencing a similar enormous funk all week. The February blues...woe, woe, woooooe...

I'm glad that you had an A-ha moment. It's good when we can see ourselves out of a funk, see what great possibilities lay ahead for us. I'm curious to know what you're up to.

Elle said...

Beautiful post - thank you.

Amber said...

Indeed. I'm with you.