Thursday, June 14, 2007

Mom, Dad, Dave, don't read this.

A couple of years ago I spent a day at the London Zoo. When I got to the Elephant enclosure, I was shocked and saddened to see two beautiful elephants standing side by side, swaying back and forth. Anyone with any sort of empathy could see that these incredible creatures were experiencing massive amounts of stress. Although it was only a few weeks later that I heard that the elephants had been removed from the zoo, I often think of them and wonder about where they are and if they are feeling better.

Last night, I went into the bathroom and a few minutes later I realized I was doing exactly what the elephants had been doing. I was standing still in the middle of the room, staring off into space. I was even swaying a little. I told you before that I am a very bad DIY’er. Well, I officially hit a wall last night. I am stressed. It’s more than my house being in chaos that is getting to me, but it used to be that at least when I got home, I could relax a little bit. Now I have added another level of ‘shoulds’ to my life and it is really affecting me.

This morning Mark said, “I feel like we are chopping our way through a jungle, and there must be a clearing around here somewhere, damnit!” We have so many plans and dreams and really when you step back and really look at our life, it’s not bad at all. But every single thing around us seems to have a leak that we have to plug, and I am rapidly running out of fingers. Is everything always going to be this hard?

15 comments:

chest of drawers said...

There will probably be a lot more hard days but one day you will be sitting down, drinking a cup of tea and looking at the beautiful home around you thinking "when did we do all this?"...belive me, the day will come!

deirdre said...

You'll get through this and be so pleased when it's done. Until then, just remember that any renovation is this way - it's not you, just the process. It will be well worth it when it's all over.

daisies said...

i so hope its not always going to be this hard because i am in the middle of it too ~ sigh (old houses have so much charm is what i keep telling myself) ... i so hear you ... have you left one room just for relax and tea and calm, it is what saves me :)

Anonymous said...

oh, i hope you get some relief soon!
~ruby

liz elayne said...

i love mark's comment...i hope you do find a clearing soon!

and i hope you have one corner left just for you where you can sit and read and drink tea in a bit of peace.

Kate I said...

The thought that always got me through days, weeks, months and yes, sometimes even years of stress was the thought that nothing ever stays the same. Life is cyclical and is constantly changing. This is a good thing when life isn't where you want it to be and yes, as the old cliche goes, this too shall pass.

...a small comfort, but at least a comfort, when you're in the middle of it all...you'll get to the clearing Megg!

Anonymous said...

Oh Meg,
While off with Hayleigh I have had some days and what always helps me are some lines from Desiderata, "Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings, Many fears are born out of fatigue and loneliness." And, "Whether or not it is clear to you, No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." Ptbo. misses you and loves you. Chin up my friend!
Love, Sue

Jessie said...

just when you think it can't get any more hellish something really wonderful is going to replenish you energy. watch for it! :)

lots of love,
j.

Michelle (a.k.a. la vie en rose) said...

oh sweetie...i wish i knew...and i hope it's not...

Amber said...

Oh my gosh, honey, YES! I am also feeling just like those elephants. But you will get throughit, and so will I. One step at a time, huh? How about I remember to lift you up today, and you lift me up, and that will help?

:)

Tori said...

Oh Megg, Hang in there.
I know how hard these things can be.
I hope things start to look up soon and that you can take some time to replenish your self of balance.

Thoughts~
Tori

Mardougrrl said...

Hang in...living in chaos is hard, but all of these changes ARE clearing the way for a better life..for all of you. I know it. :)

Alexandra S said...

I HATE being in the thicket of hard times. Hang in there, you'll come out the other end. In the meantime, hold on tight to each other. xo

Frida said...

I love what Sue quoted "Many fears are born out of fatigue and loneliness" Amen to that!! I hope that you get some rest, spome lovely deep sleep tat lasts as long as your body needs it, and maybe a little outing in the midst of all this hard work just to play. Lighted the darkness, ease the fatigue and the loneliness and I hope your fears about the future will also fade a little.
xx

Boho Girl said...

sometimes i sway like an elephant when i am stressed too. thank you for sharing your elephant story. it sort of brings meaning to the madness if that makes any sense.

i hope you two find the clearing soon honey and if things take longer than expected, i hope you can see pass all the messyness and find your peace somehow.

i love you, sweet doe eyed friend of mine.

xo