Sunday, January 04, 2009

Clear Focus.

"Metamorphosis isn't always pretty but it is always awesome and absolutely essential."
- Oprah

I'm not sure why I haven't been here in so long. I have started to write a post a few times, but I couldn't get past the title. I have felt quiet and still and even now, faced with the prospect of beginning to write again, I feel like I am hesitating on the shore; dipping my toes in to test the waters before I commit myself.

I know how things get around here at the turn of the year. Everyone goes all hog-wild picking theme words, making or not making resolutions, thanking the previous year and making lists of their wildest dreams. I have done some of those things privately this year, but I did not have the energy to share them.

It feels different this time. I feel like my resolutions came with a different sort of sigh this year. Other years I have sighed as I have written, 'lose weight' and 'write my book.' That sigh was one of resignation: I'll never do this, why do I bother? This year it was a soft sigh of determination. It was a soft breath of knowing that I can and I will complete what I have started. I feel both softer and stronger now. Clearer. I know what I want and I know that I just need to work hard to get there. Every decision just has to be weighed: will this choice bring me closer to or further away from what I want and who I am? And then I have to live with the consequences of my choice.

It's funny how a profound lightness of purpose caused such a heavy sounding post. It's actually quiet and determined and joyful over here. It's just all percolating on the inside for now. My goal for 2009? Clear focus. "I know like I know like I know."

So help me catch up - what's your goal for 2009?



Vivienne said...

Your sentence "I know what I want and I know that I just need to work hard to get there" so resonates with me lovely meg.

I'm hoping the 'hard work' in my life will promote great fun as my goal for the coming year is really just to LIVE more. I think of the last year and how much I chose to stay in, to not challenge myself, to hibernate and though it felt right at the time, its not the choice that feels right now. time to be more courageous in my own life! and there's my update for you!

i've been missing your insight and words and i'm really glad you decided to post today!

Suz said...

I too sat along the banks neath a softly swaying tree and witnessed the crash and roil of the New Year river. Quiet. Yet, I am stronger for having climbed out of the turmoil and somehow, I've changed.

Tracy said...

To LIVE life and not just sit on the sidelines watching it pass me by...

Brandi said...

love-that's mine. :-)

btw, you absolutely can still join in the love notes project!

Just email your mailing address at
artist at dandelion-studios dot com

and I'll get one in the mail for you!!!

Marilyn said...

Oh, Megg, I've missed reading you. My word for '09 is CLARITY (similar to yours). ;) A first goal? To reconnect with all of the wonderful bloggers I missed connecting with when I sort of let go of blogging for part of last year. Looking forward to reading here again. Happy New Year!

Sacred Suzie said...

Profound lightness of purpose...that really says so much about where I am too Megg. I can relate to what you are going through. Sometimes detachment can bring that clarity. I hope you find that clear focus this year. Me? I'd like to feel like a success. I'd like to make some money with my writing. It's time for some "Success".

Happy New Year to you too! It's so wonderful to hear from you.

Jamie said...

Yes. I'm sighing with you. The heavy sound of the post is the grounding you've discovered, the roots. The lightness is your wings.

"Will this choice bring me closer to or further away from what I want and who I am?" What a core question, one we should each ask ourselves every day. I'm putting it in my adventurer's pack to remind me too.

And there's synchronicity happening here too. My intention for this year? Focus.

Anonymous said...

it's the year of my creative recovery!!

and girl, i have had the same new year's resolution for 5 years, so i know all about the resignation and sighing.

so let's get on with it already. ;)

pen* said...

happy new year megg!
oh i so hear you! it must be magic in the air, because it sounds like you've touched a common understanding with most of the other comments here! but i feel it too. there is a difference. an awakening. may this be the year it happens for us.

Colleen said...

Happy New Year! I've been peeking in here wondering where you went to. It's nice to see you back. I haven't thought much about goals this year. I do have one goal to convince a certain friend and her hubby to move back to Canada... hmm... who could that be? All the best to you guys. I hope your first Christmas as Mrs. and Mr. was a great one. xoxo

Kavindra said...

What a lovely sigh it was. Softer and stronger together is lovely.

My focus for the year is similar, "clarity". I want to know what I know as well.

Genie Sea said...

Welcome back, my friend. :)

Sometimes we just need to be alone with our thoughts and our intentions, uninfluenced, to gain clarity.

It's amazing how a sigh can mean many things, and this sigh is one of relief. Relief! :) Focus! :) Determination! :)


I would be greatly appreciative if you could give me further advice as to how and where I can find these amazingly cheap fully loaded Macs :)

iGoddess said...

welcome back out of hiding! =)

i loved this post, and i was nodding throughout the whole thing. that's exactly how i felt, too. so many people are with their resolutions, or rebelling against resolutions, making themes, setting new goals, etc.

i listed past mistakes i'll happily not make again in this new year, but even that took a lot of work.

so...i have no idea what my goal is, but i have all year to figure one out. =)

Kerstin said...

Beautiful! I think I will need to quote you in one of my future posts, if I may :) Having read your blog for well over a year now I can definitely sense more lightness and clarity.

Here is to a lighter (in every sense) and clearer 2009!

Kerstin xo

enchantedartist said...

Wonderful!:)...and,okay...I just wrote a post much like this...'clear focus' sounds perfect to me...


daisies said...

this all sounds pretty wonderful honey :) i chose a word again this year, an intention to live with elegance ~ it really does take into consideration a whole lot for me :)

Jessie said...

You have accomplished so much this past year: getting married, writing a book, learning about your health and diet. I mean, WOW!! I like your description of softness and how you feel softer, stronger, determined. Yes, that's a nice way of putting it. Although I posted many of my hopes for the whole world to see, the actual work is coming from a very quiet place inside of me. It's weird, but I feel like I am caring for it, tenderly.

Anyway, you are loved in 2009. I'm glad you made your way to these words. They feel good to read.

Amber said...

First paragraph here could have come right out of my own mouth...or fingers, I guess. ;)