Saturday, June 24, 2006

Sunday Scribblings #13 - Music

The prompt for this week's Sunday Scribblings is "Music." I don't know what I want to write about it. I think I had an idea when I first read the prompt but then Laini suggested that we try to go deeper than our first reaction.

I initially thought about the music I used to listen to as a teenager. Mark and I caught the last little bit of a program on T.V. called "The Top 50 Albums that You Must Own." It was a lovely walk down memory lane. I own a lot of them, but I was a real Canadian music freak when I was a teenager. I spent a lot of money on concerts in a small venue called "Artspace" in my youth. I loved supporting new bands before they were famous. I felt helpful!

But then I was supposed to go deeper. So I thought about my problematic relationship with music. I don't like to play it loudly - unless I am in my car and then I play it and sing as loud as I can. I used to collect CDs but I rarely listened to them. I didn't always feel comfortable playing the music that I needed to hear so that other people could hear it. For some reason for me listening to music is a very personal experience. I feel deeply freed by the invention of the ipod. Now I can play whatever I want, whenever I want and no one else needs to know.

But then I want to go deeper even than that. If I go back as far as I can my first memories of music were warm, fuzzy ones. I've mentioned before that I lived at a summer camp. Well for the first six years of my life all music was played on guitars and sung in groups. Whether it was just my family sat around a campfire or a group of counsellors and campers singing silly action songs, or a church service deep in the woods, music was about love and joy and being silly together.

So the deeper I think about music the happier I get. That's interesting! I had a really difficult time writing this, and despite my happy musical-beginnings I still don't like to listen to music with other people. So I know that there is more here. I need to go deeper. I think I'll have to look at this some more in another post when the writing is easier.

P.S. I also thought about this in an earlier post about my own personal soundtrack. I created one - if you haven't done this already, what would be on your own personal soundtrack?

20 comments:

paris parfait said...

I agree that sometimes playing music can be a very personal thing - not really wanting anyone to overhear what you might need to hear at that moment - because it would provide a clue about your inner life! Lovely, thoughtful post.

Mardougrrl said...

I loved how you chronicled your going deeper and deeper until you arrived at a very interesting place...that the more you think about it, the happier you get. I wonder what that means? Beautiful post. :)

Living Part Deux said...

Music is a conductor of emotion like water is a conductor or electricity. How powerfully it impacts you and takes you places you can't articulate. This prompt was clearly an important one for you, and will continue to be. Thnaks for taking us along.

Madeleine said...

Interesting that you find it difficult to play music with others.
I wrote a post a while back, about my playlists and how they were dedicated to others. Perhaps it's too revealing to play YOUR song?!
Lovely little journey you took us on :)

alyndabear said...

I'm with you on the personal thing. Except I'm the opposite. At home I play my varying music styles to my heart's content, but in the car (where others can hear me.. sometimes) I would rarely put myself out there and enjoy it in front of others.

Great post!

chiefbiscuit said...

I'm with you on the personal thing with the music - sometimes when I say "Hey listen to this .." it falls flat cos the other person just doesn't 'get' it. And that can take awy from the experience in a big way. (And some of us also know what it's like to have your children diss the music from your own generation ...) So yeah - I'm all for listening to 'my' music on my own a lot of the time. Thanks for an interesting post!

Laini Taylor said...

Ooh, I'm glad it was a good experience for you, going deeper than your initial reaction! I like the comment Catherine left (first comment to the prompt post) about going 10 layers deep in examining different things in journaling -- I think a lot would come up! I love your description of life at camp -- it sounds so wonderful. I didn't grow up with musicians or singing or guitar strumming, and I imagine it to be very special.

January said...

I agree 100 percent about the iPod. I love the freedome it gives you to create your own soundtrack.
Also, I'm glad that when you dug deeper, you came to a happy place and shared it with us.

And, I check out your personal soundtrack. I'll have try that later this week. I'm sure BNL and Israel Kamakawiwo'will be on my list, too.

Susannah said...

i think one of the most intimate ways to get to know someone is to let them listen to your iPod :-) (we should've done that in London!). i remembered your soundtrack post when i was writing my SS post last night - such a good idea. love to you bunny
Sx

Sacred Suzie said...

Music is a profoundly personal and intimate experience for you. Cherish those moments alone with the world of notes and poetry.

liz elayne said...

hmmm...i agree that music can be very personal, but i also think that it can be a wondrous thing to share. maybe one day when we are together, we can sit and listen to some of our favorite songs. just sit in the space the music creates. hmmm...i would like that.

Marilyn said...

Music has played SUCH a role in my life that, honestly, I felt overwhelmed when I saw the prompt. Love your post. And like the idea of creating a soundtrack of one's life...although I suppose it would change from year to year... :)

Jessie said...

Listening to music all alone is my favorite way to hear it. Then I don't have to worry if everyone else has the same taste as me. I'm very sensitive to whether or not music "works" for others--even if they don't say anything, I can feel it.

Anyway, I love this post and all that it got me thinking about.

HoBess said...

It's funny that when we're young we want everyone to hear what we're listening to and as we get older (and understand why we listen to what we choose) we want it all to ourselves. I don't have an i-pod yet ... just subject everyone around me to my musical moods, which usually involves me singing. My poor kids! If I had a personal soundtrack none of the voices would be famous ones! Look forward to reading more ...

Colorsonmymind said...

I too had a hard time with this one-or going very deep with it-enjoyed reading as you went deeper.
I too like blaring and singing in the car.

Interesting how it feels so personal to you-maybe because so much guitar playing in person is so intimate?

Thanks for posting this-I enjoyed it.

la vie en rose said...

very interesting thoughts and i loved that you made yourself look a little deeper with each step. that's the stuff of good work.

i think music can be very personal. i know i've had times when i felt personally offended when someone didn't like my musical choices, as if they were rejecting me and not the music.

Earth Monkey said...

i totally get and can appreciate that listening to music is a personal experience - when i put on Chopin I feel more connected to what i am hearing when i am all by myself. when others are around who do not really connect with the music, it makes me a little uncomfortable... like i have to turn off and protect the music from them hearing it. i think your soundtrack idea is a great one, i will start thinking about that one.

Karen said...

definitely Closer to Fine would be on mine too!! :) So excited to be seeing you really, really SOON!

Amber said...

This is very good. Digging deeper is (usually) always good! It is so cool that you gerw up at a summer camp. That IS a happy thing. ;)

I didn't know how to do this prompt at first either! It was hard, because, like you said, music is so personal. I didn't know where to start! LOL

:)

Star said...

I know what you mean about music becoming a personal thing. I used to love listening to music and learning all the lyrics (or what I thought were the lyrics *wink*) and singing them over and over.

My husband and I met in a church choir led by good friends of ours. We practiced alot both at church and on our own. When our friends moved away, it was almost like they took my love for music away with them. I stopped singing and stopped listening altogether; in fact, I really didn't want to hear music at all.

Just within the last month or two I have started to feel an interest in music again, but only when I'm alone in the car and no one else is around. For some odd reason I feel like if I embrace music once more I might scare it off and lose it again, so I'm going slow.

Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful view on the music prompt.