Friday, April 27, 2007

Miss Potter

The strangest thing happened to me tonight. I had a movie-induced moment. I won't call it an epiphany, but it felt like something quite close to one.

I've always been a girl who loved magic. I don't mean hocus pocus or scary people in robes in the woods, I mean the magic that happens every day. I was blessed with an unusual childhood and unusual parents in a place where it was easy to believe in magic. I was also blessed with a Grandfather who made me believe in leprechauns. While I loved the Anne of Green Gables books, it was Emily of New Moon that enchanted me. I wanted to believe in faeries in the woods.

When I was old enough to decide that I wanted to be a writer I began looking for people to whom I could relate. When you are a teenager and female and you love writing there is a core reading list. I was drawn to Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath but I had real trouble reading them. They were both profound and incredible but I found that I could not relate to them. Bad things had happened to me but I had not embraced the darkness as they seemed to. I stumbled around a little. I could not be a writer. I lacked the angst and the issues that a Real Writer must stumble against. I did not recognize myself anywhere.

So that brings me back to tonight. Mark and his Dad were away tonight so his Mom and I decided to watch a girl-movie. I rented "Miss Potter" and I was just expecting a nice movie. I didn't know anything about her and I don't really remember reading her books when I was a kid. I was completely enchanted. I recognized her. She was an ordinary women who did not want to live an ordinary life. She saw magic in the world around her and enjoyed it. She was creative and a strange extrovert/introvert mix. Bad things happened to her but she recovered. She never lost that sense of magic and possibility.

So I am sitting here at midnight feeling lighter than I have in ages. Until tonight I hadn't realized how I felt about being a Writer. I didn't know that I couldn't see myself as a writer because I hadn't anyone to compare myself to. I didn't know that I didn't want to be a writer if it meant darkness and angst. I was given a gift tonight in an unlikely package. I was given a bit of insight and I was given a heroine. I am deeply grateful.

21 comments:

bee said...

oh, sweetie....

i'm glad you related to mrs. potter - i haven't seen it yet. i will now, though! :)

i for one REAALLLLY related to the bukowski/plath/jim morrison school of writing, ie: the self destructive, drunk on anything = le plus artistique, and it took me a long time to realize that artists could and (probably should)be happy. content. fulfilled in life.
writing is tricky because in the right mood, it becomes an escape, a rush, a drug, and too often a lot of us are running from something we don't want to face.

you should definitely blog more, my dear. LOL

(hugs)

deirdre said...

I just saw the movie this week too. It's still in the theatres here, so I played hooky and went one afternoon. Loved it! The opening scene just reached out and grabbed me with gentle, magical hands. We never know where this might take us.

Dreamer Girl said...

Now I really need to see this movie...I will report back later :)

XO

M said...

Don't you just love when things like that happen! The Universe is taking care of you, definitely!!
Hope all is good!

Marie said...

Thanks for providing the movie trailer. I hadn't heard of it, and now my interest is peaked.

I really enjoyed your post about changes too...It helps to know others can relate to all the craziness going on in your life too. We have some similiar qualities, writer/artist/creative/teacher..and unfortunately, I am overweight too. I love your honesty...it inspired me to take more of my life on too. I blog about my art & writing, but haven't been as brave as you on the others. Thanks, it was nice to meet you.

Frida said...

brilliant! Beatrix Potter as a writing role model is an inspired discovery. Down in the Antipodean British Colobnies I was raised on her books - (Peter Rabbit was a different kind of inspiration for this little garden sneak).
I haven't seen the movie but did visit her cottage in the Lake District while on a family holiday in England many years ago and read all about her.
I love that you found a kindred wrtier type in Beatrix, I couldn't think of a better one - a resilient, very believable and magical woman who spread a great deal of her magic for me and many more like me.

Tori said...

Oh, I can't wait to watch the movie now.
I am glad that you had this moment where the universe really got your attention.
I am always so glad to read your posts.

Susannah said...

i think i'll rent that film this week... i miss you, my writer friend! xo

Dreamer Girl said...

Miss Potter is magical...

I'm not sure how long this poem of mary oliver has been on your blog (on the right) but I read it for the first time today. It inspired me to write a post :)

XOXO

wish studio said...

magic and possibility...that's what it is all about! xo, mindy

daisies said...

:) how wonderful .. it is on my list of must sees

though like bee, i too really related to plath, bukowski, morrison school of writing and thought i couldn't write if i were happy though now i am finding that is not true ... :)

Anonymous said...

i love heroine

Michelle (a.k.a. la vie en rose) said...

oh meg what a great post! you are not alone in these feelings. i sometimes feel the same way and because of these feelings i often find it difficult to embrace the title writer/poet. i attended a monthly poetry writting group at b&n before britton was born and stopped going for this very reason--the poetry i wrote wasn't like their's. it wasn't dark and filled with pain. i started to question whether i was a 'real' writer/poet. thank you for this post. it lifted the weight off my shoulders.

now...off to put miss. poter in my netflix queue...

Amber said...

You sound like The Magical Child archetype... I relate, although I do write darker things. I want to believe in magic. Always have. ;)

:)

M said...

I've just stumbled upon your blog and it looks lovely! I look forward to exploring!

Colorsonmymind said...

Dreamy and what a great way to feel lighter.

Love you

ceanandjen said...

Oh Megg, what a beautiful post and a priceless gift. I respect the fact that you did not turn to the dark, despite the fact that you have been through dark days. I feel as though you aspire to be "real"...very real...and it seems to me that this is the beauty that will come through your writing. People will be able to relate your writing.

I wish you more lovely insights and years of beautiful writing.

xoxoxo

Maddie said...

I LOVED Emily of New Moom!
Sweetie, I just discovered
your e-mail with many others -
I never ever check g-mail -
didn't even know it was linked to
my blog as my friend switched me
from old blogger to new blogger -
I use persisting stars e-mail
I will reply soon:) (sheesh!)

hugs!

Boho Girl said...

letha and i watched this together when i was in Seattle last month. i wish you could have been there because i can totally see how you would resonate with her character.

i felt enchanted by her as well.

i see much of you in Miss Potter.

love you, my writer friend.

xoxo

chest of drawers said...

I can´t wait to see this film... it really does look enchanting and inspiring.

Frida said...

Hello lovely Meg - I was thinking of you today and wishing that I had managed to meet you when I visited Susannah last month. Hope you are writing and living well.
x