"Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else." - Glorian Steinem
I am finding it increasingly difficult to remain in the real world. I have just finished reading the final Harry Potter book and I am having difficulty climbing out of it. Plenty of books have come and gone in my life that have left no impact. I can remember most of them, but they did not come to be a part of me. There have been books, however, that left me reeling. This feeling does not necessarily come from a heavy or intense story, but usually from the sense of being fully immersed in its world. When I finish a book that has claimed me, it is often like coming up for air. Part of me wants to be out, to be done, to be back on firm ground and part of me is longing to be back deep inside.
But the strangest thing has happened to me this week. I have been inhabiting two books at the same time. One was Harry Potter and the other was my own manuscript. The characters in one of the books were bringing me along with them as I read about their lives, and the characters in the other have been taking up residence in my head. I don't feel like it is me writing this book. I feel like it is being whispered to me. When I am not writing it whole scenes appear before me, and sentences, paragraphs and snippets of dialogue swim by in quick succession. When I am writing it I don't always know what is going to come out until it is there on the page. If you watched me reading it back you would see me shaking my head in surprise.
So the result of all of this is that my head is a bit full of fiction. There is scarcely time or space for anything else. There was simply no question of stopping reading or writing so the rest of my life has suffered. I find myself being angry at my 'real' life because it gets in the way. I missed a wonderful bit of conversation the other day because I was dealing with something at work and I couldn't stop to write the words down as the came to me. I've said before that I needed to stop writing so that I could get by in my daily life. That's still true! But now I want to give up the daily life to make room for the writing. Oh, to be able to sit down and focus on one thing at a time!
Reading this back it sounds quite negative and that is not how I mean it to sound. I am deeply, passionately in love with my book. I was deeply involved in reading Harry Potter. I am happiest and most in 'the flow' when involved in such relationships with books. It is just overwhelming sometimes. I have never felt like this about a piece of my own writing before. I have had wonderful feedback from a few friends who have read it and from Mark (he's even asked me what was going to happen next a few times - a very good sign as it is a VERY woman-y book!) I know that I am going to have to come up for air sooner or later, but in the meantime, you'll have to forgive me for any absence. I've returned from Hogwarts, but that was only part of me. I'm still not fully here. I'm afraid I've become lost in another book, and this one is going to be much more difficult to leave behind.