Monday, April 10, 2006

to-do


I have been neglecting you.

For the past few weeks I haven't been myself. What with my job starting and immediately changing, Sunday Scribblings beginning and being met with unimagined enthusiasm, trying to rewrite some of my book and get a package ready to send it out into the world again, and trying to have a relationship, it's been a bit mad here. To top this cake off with the appropriate cherry, I am also nursing a whopping case of homesickness.

None of the things on my to-do list are 'bad' things - quite the opposite in fact. I've realized, however, that in the fullness of my flesh-and-blood world, I have been neglecting my blogging one. Four months ago I did not know that any of you existed, and now I am feeling sad and lonely because I haven't been able to do my daily check-ins!

I've been thinking quite a lot about my to-do list in the past few days. I am one of those people who can get more done if they have a lot to do. When I was in school I usually had one or two jobs and was involved in at least one (sometimes two or three) theatrical productions in a semester. I thrived. When I was teaching I was able to get into school for 7:30 so that I could get things done before the children (and the other staff!) came in. These days my deadlines are my own; I am not involved in as much outside of work and home, and things have tended to sit on my to-do list for much longer periods of time.

It's amazing how your attitudes towards yourself can change so much. That girl who was constantly on the go would shake her head if she could she me now. But all of that is beginning to shift again. My job has changed quite a lot in the past two weeks and I am going to be taking on a lot more responsibility. At first I was really nervous. I wasn't sure I wanted the job. I didn't want to lose the time writing, and I didn't want to be unable to drop everything and go to Canada when I needed to. In reality I was making excuses. I had slipped quite comfortably into my slower mode. Speeding back up seemed like a frightening prospect.

But now I can sense the glimmers of my old self coming back. I am starting to get up earlier so that I can get a run and some email in before I go to work. I am setting deadlines and keeping to them. I am remembering how to use time wisely. I am beginning to remember that indeed I am the girl who gets the most done when she has a lot to do. I am the woman who thrives under pressure and who can handle responsibility. I can do this.

But I have been neglecting you. For this I am sorry. I'll be back to my bloggin' self soon, I promise. I just have to get you onto my to-do list!

16 comments:

Letha Sandison said...

Hi Megg! Glad to hear you are resurfacing, I've missed you!

I want to join Sunday Scribblings. I have really enjoyed reading them, well done you for starting it!!!

melba said...

I find when I have either extreme...a lot to do or not a lot to do...it is difficult to focus. But once I get in work mode I can do it all!. I am a big list person too. That being said now that I have children I just have to be patient with my list...sometimes I have to stop in the middle of what I am working on.
The good thing about your blog world friends is that we are all here when you have the time. I love that!
Wishing you the best-Melba

Laini Taylor said...

We forgive you, Meg! I'm glad you're getting a lot done -- I've been trying to find that balance, too, between "real life" (how apropos), blog life, and work. It's there somewhere.

JourneyThroughLIfe said...

I know exactly how you feel about missing the blogging world so quickly. It was only four months ago for me as well that I started to blog. Now, I can't imagine not having it in my life. Amazing!

All the best with your new job. I hope you can still find time for some quiet you amongst the joyful, thriving you!!

JTL
xxx

Cate said...

I work better under pressure, too, Meg!

It sounds like your life is fun, exciting, and whirlwind! Enjoy it!

xo

Living Part Deux said...

It sounds like you have gone from sluggish slow to full tilt again in the blink of an eye. Give yourself time to adjust to the new rhythm. I'm hoping an accelerated pace will help with the homesickness, too. Good, good wishes.

M said...

No need to apologize for anything! I'm just jealous that you are so busy- I too am one who accomplishes more when I've got a lot on my plate and I definitely miss that way of life. It's all about choosing where to put your energy, isn't it? All about balance. Love that you are getting up to go running, well done!

Jana B said...

That sounds like me... if I don't have pressure enough to need to multitask, I become SO lethargic!

I'm glad you joined Contagious Creativity, I think I'll enjoy reading your blog! :)

Alexandra S said...

We cannot forgive you Megg, not today not ever. The only way to redeem yourself is to leave new entries on the hour every hour for the exact length of time you have been neglectin us. (As if I am one to talk!) I'll take any and all entries of yours I can, they all are wonderful- my cyber chocolate chip cookies with extra chips! I'm glad you feel you are reconnecting with your own pace that best suits you. I was also so surprised to read about your brother on my blog comments. I will be sending you a lengthy e-mail when I have a stretch of time later this week, ok? In the meantime, I send you huge hugs busy bee!

la vie en rose said...

i hate when real life interferrs with blogging...heehee...but it happens to all of us so we understand.

Jamie said...

How cool that a remembered part of you is waking up! It must be interesting to get to know her again!

When something new comes on your plate, it always takes a while for things to shift around. Soon you will find your own way of making room for all that nourishes you.

Bohemian Girl said...

totally get it.

we all come in and out with the busy~ness of our lives. i don't think anyone has expectations of you...we just miss you when you're gone but are thrilled for your new life adventures!

all of us, will always be there for you in spirit - wherever you are. no worries.

love!

HoBess said...

Have you been peeking? I'm so the same person ... too much to do, no problem. Nothing to do? Nothing gets done. I'm quite impressed that you're getting up earlier to squeeze in that run! And I'll just keep checking in here ... it's one of my favorite corners of the blogosphere!

Earth Monkey said...

megg... I loved your Real life... "three mugs with a quarter of an inch of tea in the bottom sitting on your desk... the pile of shoes inside the front door.... the pants that are too tight... the clutter of your junk drawer." This is my life too. I love to see peoples lives out there...naked, raw. I feel so much closer to them. While I think we would love for everything to be so neat, tidy and organized, we (or I should say "I") long for similarities to help me feel real. Thanks for this real life snap shot!

re: blog break
they seem natural.. life is always throwing us curve balls... And we could ALWAYS use a little extra time to catch up.

Marilyn said...

Isn't it an amazing phenomenon that these people we didn't even know existed before we started blogging suddenly matter to us? It's an experience that I think every blogger goes through--that almost-guilt that one feels when one gets so preoccupied with 'real life' stuff that we feel we're neglecting our blog life. Nearly everyone takes (even some sort of) a break from blogging at some point (even if it's a day away for a daily poster). The good news is that everyone's waiting for you when you return. :)

Kerstin said...

Hi Megg,

I am a little behind with my comments, for very similar reasons to the ones you are listing!

I miss blogging, too, when life seems to take over. It's a combination of wanting to be an active part of this amazing community and not wanting to be forgotten by it, either. But the beautiful thing is that you can always come back and pick up where you left off as the blogosphere has its own unique dynamic of letting you slip back in, like a drop of rain that becomes one with the ocean every single time it drops into it.

I understand your homesickness completely, and it is odd to me that you live in the place that I am homesick for :)

Your old self is emerging and it looks to me like a new butterfly is beginning to spread its wings.