I might as well be straight with you from the beginning and tell you that I am really scared of wishing. There, I said it. I am scared to make a wish. I think this fear comes from grade six when my teacher read us a story about a couple who get to make a wish. They wish for money and the next day they get a letter through the post that their son has died & the exact amount of compensation that they get for his death is the amount they had wished for. Yeah. Scary.
That being said, I am still the girl who wishes on falling stars, and on birthday candles and when the clock reads 11:11. I wouldn't want to waste the opportunity, but I am partially paralyzed with fear when I do make those wishes. For years I had the same wish. It was made out of love for someone else, and also because I was afraid to make a selfish wish. So there you have it - one of my many neurosis. I am not scared to make the wish. I am scared that it might come true and either a) not live up to what it was supposed to be like, b) bring with it some dire consequence or c) mess up fate so I would miss out on something that was supposed to happen that would have been better than what I wished for. I think I need to go back into therapy.
So deciding what would be my three wishes was a daunting task for me today. In fact, I may not sleep tonight knowing what I have put out into the universe, but I will try.
I wish: for health for me, my family and other assorted loved ones. I want my Dad to stay well, my brother to get well, my Mom and Mark to be well, my new niece or nephew to be born well, for my sister-in-law to come through the birth well, my Grandmas to be well, and on and on - I want health for the people I love. I know I could ask for happiness for them all, but I worry that that means that we will not learn our lessons. If we are all healthy, we can get on with the business of being happy without having so many worries. So... health.
I wish: to have the confidence, money and time to write the books I want to write and have them be published and then loved by at least one person. This wish is sort-of selfish, but I hope fervently that the words I write will reach at least one person and inspire or help them in some way.
I wish: for the leaders of this world to STOP IT. I wish that they would figure out the damage they are doing, stop making their citizens fight each other and start realizing that if they could learn to be nice to each other they might be able to work together to fix the huge MESS that they have made that the rest of us have to live in.
So there. Those are my wishes today. What would be yours? For more Sunday Scribblings, go here.