Wednesday, November 12, 2008


"To change the world, you need to change yourself first." - Denise Linn

The first thing I have to say is: "Welcome to the world Anna! I promise to be the very best aunt I can be, and to love you unconditionally and completely." (Isn't she beautiful?! She was born on Monday night. Bliss.)

Now, back to the book:

I have been a little bit quiet over the past few days. I think that I have needed a bit of cover after several days of really digging deep. As much as I am getting from a month of Soul Coaching, I think I have also realized that intensive self-realization can be a bit too much after awhile. Sometimes I have to put in a movie and curl up with Mark.

Today was all about how you relate to the world. It's about understanding your patterns. Once again, Denise hit me right in the solar plexus. She talked about a client who had a pattern of protecting herself. The description - right down to the checking to make sure the door was locked three times - caused a click in my brain. I do that. I protect myself. And here I thought I was just uptight!

Looking back at my life, I can see absolutely no reason why I should be so afraid. I was raised with lots of love and support. Tonight, however, I watched a movie of one niece meeting the other one for the first time. Helen has also been raised with masses of love and support, but she was clearly uncomfortable in the hospital. She hates loud noises and strange places already at 2. So the question is: is it possible to grow up without fear or self-doubt? When do normal nerves and hesitancy turn into a life long pattern?

It made me think about where our patterns begin, and at what point we have to take control. I think that we can waste a lot of time worrying about why we are the way we are. I think that at some point we have to stop trying to blame teachers, parents, friends, husbands, wives, and even children for the way our lives have turned out. I think that at some point we need to see our patterns and our decisions as something that we have created - something we have control over - and do something about them.

Denise's questions today are about just that: letting go of old patterns. There is a quote I read once that went something like: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." I like that a lot. It puts responsibility and power right back where it matters, and where there is potential for real change.

"Today, be aware of the way that you relate to the world around you, and notice if there are any recurring emotional patterns." (99) I'm going to snuggle in now and see if I can't spot any other patterns in my life and begin to do what I can to gently let them go. I hope that you are able to do the same.


Kavindra said...

That's a beautiful niece you've got there. When I clicked open your page and her sweet face appeared, I got a smile from ear to ear!

"It made me think about where our patterns begin, and at what point we have to take control. I think that we can waste a lot of time worrying about why we are the way we are."

Thanks for saying the above - I totally agree - at least I know I feel I have personally wasted alot of time trying to see "why" instead of "what can I do to change or work with this". I am trying to focus on the second question more and more.

Bless you for the timely reminder!

a space cow-girl said...

this post is freaking awesome!

I had a realization while walking the dog today and that realization was: 'hey! I'm in charge here!'.

I am not a victim to my dogs antics or my feelings, I am not at the mercy of anything.

and now the requisite: here me roar!!!


peppylady said...

I think having balance is actual real important in ones life.
But it darn hard to make it happen.

Coffee is on.

Genie Sea said...

How absolutely gorgeous Anna is! Awww. Babies make me melt, and she is one lovely and peaceful baby!

May her days be blessed and her blessings many.

Snuggling... ah! :)

Anonymous said...

What a gorgeous baby!

It is an amazing moment when we realize there is no reason to be so afraid.

Thanks for reminding me of that again!

Leah said...

great post! i was all about blaming my parents in my teens and early twenties. growing up for me, had a lot to do with forgiveness, letting go, and facing where i'm at now and taking responsibility for that. - the Creative Goddess said...

amen to this,
beautiful sister...
biggest blessings on your amazing journey hon...
(and i agree... sacred integration by watching a movie with hunky man is TOTALLY necessary sometimes. :))
gorgeous angel hugs,

chest of drawers said...

I see your lovely smile and I feel you in your posts and see the positive influence you have on others...that´s a pattern too and a pretty amazing one.
I didn´t get the love I always thought I should have had as a child - but maybe that´s not the key...

Samosas for One said...

You're so right. I needed to hear what you said. I bought Soul Coaching a week ago with the intention of joining in on the online group and let it sit in the Borders bag right where I put it down when I returned from the store. I have to start reading it cause I know it will resonate with me, but there is something that keep my grip so firmly attached to where I am. What you wrote resonated with me. Thanks.

Colleen said...

Such a sweet little cutie pie! You must be so happy to be an auntie again! Congratulations to you and your brother!!!

Vivienne said...

wow....such profound words darlin'!

such a good reminder that its our responsibility to change our patterns. i wonder sometimes how some of my patterns developed....other than the obvious blaming of my sister of parents. i wonder often about when and why i accepted these patterns as truths and feel like i need to forgive that young me for making choices that i wouldn't make now. she did the best she could with what she had then, but it doesn't mean that i have to spend the rest of my life on that path!

i really think i need to get that book! your posts about it have really got me thinking!

pen* said...

i just adore your posts. they are always so gently thought provoking. your line, "i think that we can waste a lot of time worrying about why we are the way we are" really hit home. i so agree! of course, i appreciate we need to recognise patterns and, understanding where they stem from can help, but ultimately there comes a time when you just need to seize control and move on. i keep coming close but haven't quite made the leap yet...
anyhow, just wanted to say thanks for sharing. you have such a wonderful way with words, i will be one of the first to pre-order your book when it comes out!

Amber said...

This is great stuff.

And that baby is Holy-Moly beautiful! (and I don't just say that, because some babies are Holy-Moly unfortunate looking. lol!)


Jaime said...

We are all a bunch of onions, aren't we? Many fragile layers.

Anna is beautiful. I am about to be an aunt for the first time this spring!!!!!

lots of love